Love or Fear: Who is the Boss of You?

As a coach and therapist, I talk with people every day about what’s happening – or what they wish was happening – in their lives.

In every single circumstance where people are not happy or at peace, I can see where the choice has consciously or unconsciously been made to approach the situation from a place of fear rather than love – and it is that, rather than the event or person or circumstance itself that is causing them to experience it the way they are.

A Course in Miracles teaches,

“You have but two emotions, and one you made and one was given you. Each is a way of seeing, and different worlds arise from their different sights.”
T-13.V.10:1.

There are no exceptions to this – it doesn’t matter whether you are resisting pursuing your passion, remaining in a situation that is not serving you, having financial difficulty, in relationship conflict, or dealing with a challenge in the body. What is causing you to experience anything other than peace, love, and joy is the choice to align yourself with fear.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

The root of our unhappiness, misery, and suffering is nothing outside ourselves. It’s the way we choose to make meaning of what happens – the story we tell ourselves about it – that determines whether we experience it as ruining our day or life, or as calling forth something greater within us and inspiring us to move forward.

When I look back at my own life I can see countless scenarios in which I made myself suffer because I chose fear. Fear made me see scarcity everywhere, stay in relationships, jobs and places I should have moved on from, kept me from letting go, and talked me out of taking the leaps that could lead me to the next awesome thing. Fear made me believe I’d regret making a change, and convinced me that things wouldn’t work out because I couldn’t see how they could.

Fear also allowed me to ignore and suppress what I knew in my heart was right. It caused me to see myself as a victim, and someone else as responsible for my happiness; to abandon myself and not take ownership for my choices and my experience.

That’s really the payoff for our egos, isn’t it? If we can see ourselves as being the innocent bystander rather than the director in the dramas that play out in our lives then we get to stay in our shitty situation and bitch about how unhappy or unfulfilled we are.

The only problem with that is, ummm… well, staying in our shitty situation and continuing to be unhappy and unfulfilled.

Is any of this sounding familiar?

In the video I tell a story about the gift of a breakup of a long-term relationship.

I was in so much fear – devastated, panicked, freaking out, and just completely unable to see my way out of it. I remember lying curled up on my bed, bawling my eyes out and literally wailing, “I’m so afraid, I’m so afraid, I’m so afraid.”

(God Bless my sweet neighbors for being so nice to me.)

But when I finally got my spiritual balls together and looked at the situation honestly with my Guide JBro (aka Jesus) I was able to see my hand in it – to take responsibility for the creative power of my own thoughts and make a decision to no longer allow fear be the boss of me.

I packed my sh*t up and moved outta the Victim ‘Hood.

I began to consciously choose love, to see possibilities, and experience wonderful outcomes. Life became full of crazy blessings, unforeseen opportunities, and endless synchronicities. Helpful beings showed up, things I could never have imagined started happening for me – doors opened, abundance flowed, gifts fell into my lap – all architected in such an elegant and Divinely-timed manner that I could see Spirit’s handprints all over it.

What I thought was heartbreak was actually the sound of my heart cracking open, making space for an unimaginable in-pouring of loving light that was meant to flow into and through me, out into the world and across the Universe – connecting me with everyone and everything that is for my highest good.

It has been nothing short of miraculous.

If you’re stuck, or something is calling you to step into it; if you’re staying in a situation that isn’t serving you, or you’re not living your purpose or embracing your passion – if you’re not happy and you’re blaming anyone or anything for it – you’re choosing fear and blocking the love that is your ride that wants to take you where you really want to go.

As A Course in Miracles teaches, you can choose again.

Love or Fear: Who is the Boss of You?

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Thank you so much for being among my mighty companions on this amazing journey. If something in the video or this post speaks to you, please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email. I love hearing from you.

If you’d like to really rock your joy in every area of your life, consider private coaching with me and learn to do what I did. You can check out my programs and book a free Coaching Discovery Call here.